April 21, 2021
What is your North Star?
It may not be what you first think
As we ascend on this new dawn, I invite you to continue to evaluate your values (what is meaningful and important to you?) and your commitments (where does your energy and attention go?) To clarify, when Iâ€™m using the word commitment in a coaching context, Iâ€™m not referring to a laundry list of things you said yes to. Iâ€™m referring to what you have designated as your top priorities in life whether or not you are saying yes to them. These are only questions that you can answer yourself deep within your soul. Being in alignment with yourself is the source of your vitality. It requires going within and doing your inner work to distinguish what is so for you, what you need, and which direction to move forward. It doesnâ€™t mean there is no struggle or work involved. In fact it can be extremely challenging and scary. However, like a tuned instrument, once you recognize you are in alignment, or get back into alignment with yourself, you are in the most beautiful harmony and you participate in life with grace and ease.
What pulls us out of alignment? Why is getting into alignment hard?
What pulls us out of alignment is fear, insecurity and doubt. Maybe we took a leap and it didnâ€™t work out and instead of using it for learning we use it as evidence that we canâ€™t get what we want. These are natural and normal feelings. When we operate as these things are the truth, then we start to go towards a downward spiral.Â
Getting into alignment can be hard because we have fixed ideas about what we should or shouldnâ€™t be doing and feeling. Challenge the â€śshouldsâ€ť and ask yourself if this is coming from your higher self (your inner north star) or is it coming from an external expectation of you? I have found in a decade of working intimately with hundreds of people, that each one of us is prone to the â€śshouldâ€ť type of thinking without discerning where this “should” is coming from.Â
Another thing that gets in our way is fear of leaving our comfort zones. Remember, your comfort zone is your status quo â€“ itâ€™s what you know (the good stuff, the bad stuff, and everything else.) Getting out of your comfort zone requires courage to manage the internal resistance you feel that is there to keep you â€śsafe.â€ť If you want something new and different, you have to step out of your comfort zone. To step out of your comfort zone, you have to allow yourself to feel afraid, unsure, and insecure. Once youâ€™re out â€“ you feel alive. Yes, thereâ€™s risk, but thereâ€™s also reward. Ask yourself, is it worth it? Is it more painful to stay in this comfort zone or take the risk? Most times, it works out better than we can imagine. Sometimes it doesnâ€™t. When it doesnâ€™t, you might even find that itâ€™s still better than the pain of remaining in your status quo because it is something new. You take the learning, you grow and expand. You get back out there again and nail it. Food for thought: If youâ€™re going to give so much of your energy to what could go wrong. Why not give an equal amount to what could go right?Â
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